We've either reached the absolute pinnacle of entertainment, or crack-rock-bottom, as there's yet another movie about an animal consuming drugs and going on a crazy killing spree.
This time the humble racoon turns into a vicious killer - his murderous, gut-spilling, skin-tearing rampage is powered by "a synthetically-altered street drug" a dealer dropped during a cop chase.
The movie's description reads: "With unsuspecting campers, tourists, and residents of a mountain community all in close proximity to the epicentre, no one is safe from the monster's unrelenting rampage."
'Crackcoon' follows in the much larger footsteps of 'Cocaine Bear', the first movie about an animal's drug-fuelled murder streak that comes to most people's minds. The film, directed by Elizabeth Banks, actually had a recognisable cast and a budget big enough to support such an absurd plot premise.
'Crackcoon', on the other hand, is relying on crowd-funding to get fully fleshed out and ready for release.
Brad Twigg, the movie's director, managed to raise an initial $25,000 pre-filming (which was split to go towards his other movie 'Wrestle Massacre 2', but is hoping for another $9,882 to be used for post-production on 'Crackcoon'.
"The funds will be used for editing, score, colour, sounds, perks, etc," Twigg writes on the movie's Indiegogo page before adding he's got another crack-creature movie on the way. "Money raised in addition to our goal will go towards the budget for our sequel, 'CRACKODILE'. "
Eventually, this will lead to a Cocaine Creature Cinematic universe that pits our favourite coked-up cretins against the world or each other. Cocaine Bear and Crackcoon beating the shit out of each other a la 'Godzilla vs King Kong'? Sign me up.
Crackodile, the Meth Gator, and Cocaine Shark (all real characters in real movies!) teaming up in a buddy crack-cop movie based in a drug-fuelled river/ocean system? Why the fuck not?
Be surprised by no movie premise any more, we are beyond the point of expecting being a wise thing to do.
