When things get steamy in the sheets, there’s a third party that often gets left out - lube!
While it has LOADS of benefits, lube is often forgotten. Why? Well, a lot of it has to do with 'lube shaming'
UFC champion Ronda Rousey publicly shamed the use of lube in her Maxim column, where she said: “You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy...”
Or maybe you’ve found yourself feeling a bit embarrassed about using lube, thinking you’re just 'supposed' to get wet on your own.
According to Adult Toy Mega Store’s Certified Sex Educator Emma Hewitt, there’s a lot to learn about why lube should be your best friend in the bedroom!
What is lube shaming and why is it still common?
“Lube shaming is the belief that if someone with a vulva is turned on, they shouldn’t need lube because their body should become naturally wet when aroused.
The shame comes in when a partner feels their lack of lubrication means they aren’t turned on, or when someone feels embarrassed if their body doesn’t become wet enough.
This mindset puts unnecessary pressure on someone for not meeting an expectation over something they can’t control.”
But wet = horny, right?
Judging arousal or sexual ability based on how wet someone is, is actually a waste of time.
“Arousal non-concordance is when you feel aroused but your body doesn’t show the typical signs, AKA becoming wet. It works both ways too! Sometimes your body reacts even when you’re not turned on.
It’s important to understand that this is super common and influenced by factors like stress, hormones, menstrual cycles, and menopause.”
Five reasons to make friends with lube
Lubricant makes everything feel better
“Lubricant is literally designed to make everything feel better. It reduces friction without reducing sensation and can make it feel very silky and luxurious and feel better for longer.
A 2011 study found that using lubricant was associated with higher ratings of sexual pleasure for both solo play and penetrative sex compared to the same type of stimulation with no lube.”
Lube can increase your chances of orgasm
“It’s not just about comfort - studies have found that lube can actually increase the odds of reaching orgasm.
And for those who experience pain without lubricant, not using it means an orgasm is likely off the cards as vaginal pain is a surefire way to stop arousal in its tracks.”
Lubricants can help to prevent STI transmission
“Dry skin and friction are a recipe for microtears in the delicate skin of the vagina or anus, increasing the risk of STI transmission.
Condoms are still your best defence, but it’s ideal to do everything you can to have safer sex.”
Lube is essential for condom safety
“Using lubricant with condoms has been shown to reduce condom failure rates. Just make sure you stick to water-based or silicone lubricant and avoid oil-based lube with latex condoms.”
Lubricant means a marathon session is totally doable
“Using lube means that you can thrust, grind, rub and penetrate to your heart's content. No breaks required! Well, maybe for a glass of water and a slice of orange.”
It’s important to remember, lube is not the enemy
“The good news is that lots of us already know just how good lube can be. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 65.5% of women reported using lubricant.
Another 2014 study by the same researchers found similar results with heterosexual men, with 70% reporting using lubricant. That went up to 90% among gay and bisexual men.”
There ya go! Lube is a simple fix for many issues, and with so many options out there, you're bound to find one you love. While we’re in the mood for some bedroom chat, why not find out four lessons even the most 'vanilla' of us can learn from BDSM?
