An Aussie cattle farmer in his mid-60s has earned himself a place in the history books, filed under 'Absolute Weapons'.
Colin Deveraux was walking alongside a billabong when he was attacked by a crocodile and was only able to escape after he bit the beast in its God damn eyeball.
Colin ended up in hospital for a month after the attack, but is now healthy enough to spin the whole hectic yarn to ABC.
"The water had receded and it was down to this dirty water in the middle. I took two steps and the dirty bastard latched onto my right foot," he said.
"It was a big grab and he shook me like a rag doll and took off back into the water, pulling me in."
He tried kicking and clawing away at the beast, but it was all futile. Until, unintentionally, his chompers became a weapon.
"I was in such an awkward position . but by accident, my teeth caught his eyelid. It was pretty thick, like holding onto leather, but I jerked back on his eyelid and he let go."
"I leapt away and took off with great steps up to where my car was. He chased me for a bit, maybe four metres, but then stopped."
Free from immediate danger, Colin was now dealing with the battle wound the croc inflicted: One bloody and possibly infected leg.
He wrapped the wounded limb in a towel and rope to stop the bleeding. His brother then drove him 130 kilometres to the nearest hospital.
"The biggest problem was having to clear out all the bad bacteria. The billabong water was full of mud, goose shit and duck shit," he said.
"It was opened up bad and over 10 days in a row, I think, they had to flush it."
Colin is an absolute veteran but realises that this battle might mark the end of his farming career.
"It means I've got to change what I do. I've been walking around that swamp country too long fixing fences and living life, but it's opened my eyes."
As for the fate of the crocodile, Colin simply said it's been "removed".
Despite kangaroos being the main foe for Aussie geezers, one must never forget about the croc.
