Warning: This article discusses sexual abuse and may be distressing to some readers.
Renowned broadcaster and journalist Ali Mau’s 'No Words For This' memoir has just hit shelves and with great vulnerability and strength, she reflects on the most harrowing times of her life.
In her book, Ali opens up about the abuse she endured at the hands of her father and the impact it had on her life and career.
Speaking to Robert Rakete and Jeanette Thomas on The Breeze Auckland's breakfast show, Ali revealed she was told by her sister that other members of her family had suffered the same thing - forcing her to confront her traumatic childhood at the age of 50.
“It was certainly an incredibly dramatic moment," she said.
“It sounds like everybody’s worst nightmare of a text, but I have to say that was a moment of transformation for me.”
Ali explained how survivors of sexual harm can often feel isolated and scared.
“Often it’s by design because the perpetrator will tell them: ‘Don’t tell anybody [...] bad things will happen to you or [your] family if you tell.”
“So you tend to keep that locked up in you, [as] I did for 50 years,” she added.
“When my sister sent me that text, everything changed because I had community, [...] I knew there were others who had experienced, sadly, the same thing as me.”
“I went from never breathing a word to a soul to quite quickly being able to talk openly about it.”
Ali also shared her experiences navigating journalism in a male-dominated industry.
She recounts a time where she was sent to interview an Olympic swimmer about charity work she was doing, but her boss told her: “Don’t come back without asking her about the boob job”.
“I was horrified," Ali said. "Why would I?”
“I was terrified because I knew I could lose my job if I didn’t ask it, and I just about did lose my job, actually,” she said.
“I made a decision [not to ask] which I felt conflicted about for years afterwards, as if I’d somehow failed myself as a journalist [...] it wasn’t until decades later that I realised ‘oh actually I’ve probably done the right thing’.”
Now, Ali has co-founded Tika, a tech platform that brings survivors of sexual harm together by identifying groups of survivors of the same perpetrator and offering free legal help.
We're so grateful to Ali for the work she is doing, and for sharing her story in an effort to help others.
If you or someone you know is in trouble, help is available:
Help - 0800 623 1700 - Preventing sexual abuse and supporting survivors
Shine – 0508 744 633 confidential domestic abuse helpline.
Women's Refuge Crisisline – 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE) (for women living with violence, or in fear, in their relationship or family).
Shakti Crisis Line – 0800 742 584 (for migrant or refugee women living with family violence).
Rape Crisis – 0800 883 300 (for support after rape or sexual assault).
Lifeline– 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP).
Suicide Crisis Helpline– 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO).
Healthline– 0800 611 116
Samaritans – 0800 726 666
Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 (to talk to a trained counsellor about how you are feeling or to ask any questions).
www.depression.org.nz– includes The Journal online help service.
SPARX.org.nz– online e-therapy tool provided by the University of Auckland that helps young people learn skills to deal with feeling down, depressed or stressed.
OUTLine NZ – 0800 688 5463 (OUTLINE) provides confidential telephone support.
Youthline– 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat.
thelowdown.co.nz– or email team@thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626.
What's Up – 0800 942 8787 (for 5–18 year olds). Phone counselling is available Monday to Friday, 12noon–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm. Online chat is available from 3pm–10pm 7 days a week, including all public holidays.
I AM HOPE- FREE TEXT OR CALL 1737 - available any time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They also provide funding for young people aged 05-24yrs to get counselling.
Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.
